Growing up, my best friend wanted to be a baseball player. He was so focused, but by the time he was in high school, he realized he didn’t have the skills to make the varsity team, much less join Major League Baseball. Although his hopes were dashed, the dream being so far away was in some way comforting. As it turns out, it’s uncomfortable to realize a big stretch goal is not within reach. And that can lead to self-sabotage.
Getting close can be scary
In the HBO documentary series The Edge of the Earth, world-class climber Emily Harrington found herself at the cusp of beginning the world’s first free ascent on Kyrgyzstan’s giant mountain, Pik Slesova. She mused, “There’s a really unique kind of fear that you have when you realize you’re capable of something.”[1]
The fear she’s describing is a mix of excitement because your goal is in sight and the terror you feel when you realize it’s possible, but you still might fail.